You've probably heard the phrase 'let bygones be bygones'. A bygone is simply "a thing dating from an earlier time". If you are anything like me, I have an easier time letting bygones be bygones when it involves someone else. But when it comes to forgiving myself- well, that's a different story!
I know I am not alone in this struggle. Most parents I have met are genuinely concerned about 'doing the wrong thing" or making mistakes in parenting. Our fear is that if we don't get this parenting thing right, then our kids lives will be forever tainted. While parenting well should be a high priority, we also have to learn to be realistic. The truth is- we are not gonna get it all right. We are going to make mistakes. It's not a question of if we will make a mistake, but rather a question of when. We are going to have parenting fails. But you know what? It's okay. Your 4 year old pitches a fit at bedtime and you feel like screaming. Your 8 year old brings home a bad grade and you overreact. A relative says something snippety to you and you snap back in front of your child. If you failed to handle a situation in the best possible way, learn from it. Give yourself a chance to think through the incident and decide how you could have handled your emotions in a healthier way. But don't beat yourself up. Apologize if need be. But move on. 1 John 1:9 says "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness." There is power in being able to forgive yourself. God expects us to bring our messy parenting mistakes to him. He not only forgives us, but restores us and allow start each day anew. Say good-bye to bygones. “All the king’s horses and all the king’s men can’t put the past together again. So let’s remember. Don’t try to saw sawdust.” (Dale Carnegie)
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